[You know you’ve made friends with FEAR when you get a sudden urge to paint in bold yellow (Personal Power) and iridescent orange (Creative Forces) paint. Above is the first layer for my next mixed media piece on a 28 3/4″ x 31 1/4″ piece of plywood found sitting outside my building. Yay upcycle!]
I woke up one morning, FEAR nudging me to make itself known. This time, instead of tension and anger, there was an unfamiliar softness to it and for the first time in my life I genuinely thought Fear was truly beautiful! Our conversation went something like this:
Hey. Here you are. FEAR. It’s OK. I’m here with you, not chasing you away. Come closer, let me look at you. Really! It’s OK, I want to get to know you better. You changed and your eyes aren’t so dark after all. I see some light in there.
The world seems to be on a mission to eradicate you. Be happy! Choose Happiness! They say, loud and clear. FEAR. What about you? You just want to be heard and underneath the chaos, you make yourself bigger and louder. You want to be seen and you want to be loved. I know that now.
Fear, come closer. Let’s talk… or let’s just BE. Let’s get to know each other. You do seem to know my weaknesses even more than I do at times. However, you coming in, uninvited, crushing everything in your path, bullying me… I get spooked! I won’t allow being spooked anymore! I don’t want to be spooked. Let’s be friends and let’s work together, moving into this new relationship with INTEGRITY. Let’s grow… together; You, Me, Happiness, Guilt, Chance, Vulnerability and Love. Let’s live up to our truest potential!
FEAR, I like you today. Ooooh, it wasn’t love at first sight but today, right now, I look at you lovingly. Let’s expect the unexpected. I loooove the new face of YOU. It suits you, it’s ALIVE, welcoming even.
I promise I won’t tuck you away, hide you or ignore you anymore. No tantrums ok? You may not be invited everywhere I go, but if you are, always sit on my good side. You are part of my life too.
If you sit in the dark, I’ll know there is a darn good reason for it. I will sit with you and try to understand the message you carry. I might not like crawling into a dark cave but I love the treasures and dreams you have been growing there.
Thank you for showing up today as a friend, not an overpowering enemy. I know we’ll go far together.
(FEAR and the Artist Self kiss and make up.)